It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
