belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
