K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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