You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
