Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think I sprained my soul last night
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
40s are totally the cure
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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