im gay
i know
yea but for you.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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