I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize