Kiss
Puke
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
