never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
