Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
