i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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