Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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