I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
