So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i think my cat just said my name.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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