I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
