There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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