My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
