is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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