sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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