Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
