The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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