you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize