HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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