the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize