Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
