There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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