ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
