We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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