She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
