im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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