2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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