You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
