She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
