You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
