I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize