Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Sorry about my life...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
