i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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