Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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