don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
