Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He felt like a one man threesome
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
