I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
