Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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