OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Watching her eat just hurts me
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
