Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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