history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
