I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
