Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
