You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Drake has all the answers
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
