Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Drunk is not a location!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
