i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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