I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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