I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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