you guys were way drunker than both of me
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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