Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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