Screwed.edu
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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