I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
