I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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