Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
