I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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